Sleepless Night

I can't blame this one on night shift.

I just put my sweet baby back to bed...after she woke up and refused to be put back in her crib until just recently. I seriously thought about just grabbing a blanket and laying on the couch and snuggling with her, but I figured Jordon wouldn't appreciate me spoiling her like that since I have to work tonight through Sunday night.

I can't help it. I'm a sucker.
That sweet face.
That fluffy little hair that wisps against my cheek as we rock and she has her head on my shoulder.
Her smell of baby.
I love it. I miss it when I work. I have to admit that I'm jealous of any mommy who gets to be home with her baby every night, but that just means the nights I am home with my two loves is sweeter.
I'm thankful for being able to hold my sweet baby.

I was chatting with a nurse from labor and delievery a couple days ago and she was telling me about a case last week. A mother was in an accident and came up to the floor and delievered a 36 week stillborn little boy. I was speechless. I got choked up. My eyes started tearing up. Now that I'm a mom I can't imagine losing something so precious.
It breaks my heart for that mom...for that family. Such an unsupecting event that ended in tragedy.
I look at my own child differently now.
I'm thankful for her life and her health. We're so very lucky. Afterwards, I was anxious to get home and hug and kiss all over Kirkland.
Sometimes I feel bad because I complain that she had "a bad night" because she woke up after she was put down or she was difficult to get to sleep. At least I get to rock my baby to sleep. At least I get to enjoy all those little things that make her my Kirkland. I found myself earlier gumbling because I had just laid my head down for 30 minutes and she woke up. I feel so guilty. There's a mom out there tonight that will never get to rock her sweet baby. She'll never get to have a midnight feeding with him. She'll never get to see him grow up.

I'm thankful for Kirkland's "bad nights."